Why Won't You Act Like I Know You Should?

I am aware that one of the reasons I become angry when someone "misbehaves" is that they are not acting in conformance with my preconceived notion of what their behavior should be.

Oftentimes, I already have decided how another person "should" react to what I am saying or doing.

This, I've lived to learn, is the unfortunate occurrence of my expectations. So what do I do?

First, I become aware. The awareness is usually followed by a changing in my behavior and thoughts around the given situation.

Awareness comes easier to me than changing behaviors and thoughts. The changing part is when I must question what I believe that makes someone's actions or words appear offensive, hurtful, or worse – just plain wrong, to me.

This question alone takes some time passing (from seconds to years) before I can identify an answer. But once identified, I must determine whether or not I wish to abide by the belief I've recognized or change it.

Most of the time, I choose to alter my belief.

I find that I can do this with minimal resistance because the first thing I change is the overlying belief that everyone should know what I know and therefore act as I act.

Practice is necessary, but I get plenty of opportunities for practicing.

This is how I sum it up:

Although I have tried to let go of expectations, they are still alive and well within me. This is because they will always be. My task is not to be rid of expectations, but to be AWARE of when they are in action, and then decide whether or not I will make a change within myself in order to find peace with the situation.

Much easier said than done, but doable indeed!

 Thanks for reading, and remember Everything is Already Okay!

Anita