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This Is How I Roll

I spent a good deal of my life thinking I was fat. That is largely due to being called "fatty" over and over again as a child. I had no idea of how deep being called that would go; nor how long and tightly it would hold on!  For most of my life, I have felt fat. I was not, and I have the photos to show the truth of that. No, the photos are no different than they ever were, but my body has changed to make the point undeniably evident. It really is all about perspective! Who knew?! I dieted, exercised, and vowed never to be fat(ter). I had been told by the older adults in my life that it would happen, but I said, "I'm not going to let that happen. That happened to you because you did not make the "right" choices. I won't be that stupid". Well, guess what, I have been that stupid.  At the ripe old age of 50, I gave up. I decided that I wouldn't live much longer and that I should embrace becoming the "old lady" that came after 50. To me,
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Why Won't You Act Like I Know You Should?

I am aware that one of the reasons I become angry when someone "misbehaves" is that they are not acting in conformance with my preconceived notion of what their behavior should be. Oftentimes, I already have decided how another person "should" react to what I am saying or doing. This, I've lived to learn, is the unfortunate occurrence of my expectations. So what do I do? First, I become aware. The awareness is usually followed by a changing in my behavior and thoughts around the given situation. Awareness comes easier to me than changing behaviors and thoughts. The changing part is when I must question what I believe that makes someone's actions or words appear offensive, hurtful, or worse – just plain wrong, to me. This question alone takes some time passing (from seconds to years) before I can identify an answer. But once identified, I must determine whether or not I wish to abide by the belief I've recognized or change it. Most of the time, I choose t
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